One Another Living-Forgive One Another

• Forgiveness is a Core Principle: Forgiveness is not merely an optional act but a fundamental aspect of Christian living, rooted in our identity as God’s beloved and chosen people.
• Forgiveness is for Your Own Freedom: Refusing to forgive holds you hostage to bitterness and resentment. The act of forgiveness is a powerful form of medicine for your own heart, offering you freedom and peace.
• Forgiveness Requires a Heart Posture: Before we can forgive, we must “put on” tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, and longsuffering. These qualities are a uniform that signals our identity in Christ.
• Follow Christ’s Pattern: We are called to forgive others “even as Christ forgave you.” This includes both unilateral forgiveness (forgiving someone even if they don’t ask for it) and transactional forgiveness (which involves confession, repentance, and reconciliation).
• Love is the Foundation: Love is the “bond of perfection” that makes forgiveness possible. It is love that drove Christ to the cross to forgive us, and it is love that enables us to extend forgiveness to others.

Icebreaker

What is a movie, book, or story you’ve seen or read where a character’s act of forgiveness was especially powerful to you?

Forgiveness

Scripture References

Micah 7:18-19, Colossians 3:12-14, Ephesians 1:7, 1 Corinthians 10:24, Psalm 51:10, Galatians 2:20, Ephesians 5:1, Ephesians 4:30-32, Ezekiel 36:26, Luke 23:34, Acts 7:57-60.

Brief Summary

This study begins by highlighting the beautiful nature of forgiveness, citing Micah 7:18-19, which states that God delights in mercy and casts our sins “into the depths of the sea”. The powerful story of Robert Rule, the father of a Green River Killer victim, who publicly forgave his daughter’s murderer, Gary Ridgway, demonstrates a profound example of Christian forgiveness. The sermon’s main focus is on learning how to forgive one another, building on the previous week’s topic of love. Five key concepts for forgiveness are presented based on Colossians 3:12-14. This section sets the stage by emphasizing that forgiveness is a core principle of Christian living.

Discussion Questions

• Micah 7:18-19 describes God as one who delights in mercy and casts our sins “into the depths of the sea”. What does this imagery mean to you personally?
• When you hear the story of Robert Rule forgiving Gary Ridgway, what thoughts or emotions come to mind? How does this story challenge your understanding of forgiveness?
• Forgiveness is called “one of the most beautiful words in the English language”. Do you agree? Why or why not?

Application Questions

• The passage states that “God delights in mercy”. How can you practice delighting in mercy in your daily interactions with others?
• Think of a time you were wronged. How might the idea of forgiving the “inexcusable” apply to that situation?

Position

Scripture References

Colossians 3:12, Ephesians 1:7.

Brief Summary

The first key to forgiveness is our position in Christ. Paul in Colossians 3:12 calls believers “the elect of God, holy and beloved”. The word “elect” means “chosen of God”. Because we are God’s chosen, holy, and dearly loved people, we are to act like Him and have forgiveness in us. C.S. Lewis is quoted as saying, “To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you”. Forgiveness, therefore, isn’t optional for a believer; it’s a mark of living in Christ. The sermon touches on the theological debate between Calvinism and Arminianism regarding “elect” but concludes that the Bible teaches both God’s sovereignty and man’s free will.

Discussion Questions

• According to the text, our forgiveness flows from our “position in Christ” as God’s “chosen people, holy and dearly loved”. What does this mean to you? How does your identity in Christ impact your ability to forgive?
• The sermon addresses the mystery of God’s sovereignty and man’s free will. In what areas of your faith or life do you feel comfortable with mystery, and in what areas do you struggle with it?

Application Questions

• How does being “set apart” from the world, as described in the text, influence how you handle conflict and choose to forgive?
• It is stated that “forgiveness is not optional, it’s the mark of living in Him”. What is one specific situation where you need to live out this truth this week?

Posture

Scripture References

Colossians 3:12, Romans 13:14, Galatians 3:27, 1 Corinthians 10:24, Psalm 51:10, Galatians 2:20, Ephesians 5:1.

Brief Summary

The second key to forgiveness is our posture, or our heart attitude. Before we can forgive, we must “put on” tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, and longsuffering. This is like putting on a uniform that signals our identity in Christ. The sermon warns against putting on this “uniform” only on Sundays and then taking it off. Just as fluency in a language comes from speaking it often, fluency in the “language of forgiveness” comes from putting on these Christ-like graces daily. This posture requires selflessness, a genuine transformed heart, and self-denial.

Discussion Questions

• The text uses the analogy of a uniform to describe our spiritual posture. What does it mean to “put on the Lord Jesus Christ”?
• The idea of “suiting up for the wrong team” is mentioned. In what ways do you find yourself or other Christians acting contrary to their identity in Christ?
• How does the metaphor of language fluency relate to your practice of forgiveness? What makes this “language” so difficult to speak?

Application Questions

• Look at the five things Paul says to put on: tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, and longsuffering. Which one do you find most challenging to practice daily?
• How can you intentionally “put on” these qualities this week, especially in a situation where you might be tempted to react negatively?

Patience

Scripture References

Colossians 3:13, Ephesians 4:30-32, Ezekiel 36:26.

Brief Summary

The third key is patience, which means “bearing with one another” or “to put up with”. Forgiveness is a command, and refusing to forgive grieves the Holy Spirit. A personal story of a woman who held on to bitterness and anger for years before seeking forgiveness illustrates that refusing to forgive holds you “hostage” to pain and bitterness. The sermon stresses that forgiveness is 99% for the person forgiving and 1% for the person who wronged them. It is a form of medicine for your heart. Bearing with others acknowledges that they will fail, and forgiveness restores relationships by absorbing offenses. We are commanded to be patient and forgive, even if the other person has not asked for it, while trusting God to change their heart.

Discussion Questions

• The idea is presented that when we refuse to forgive, we “grieve the Holy Spirit”. What does this mean to you to grieve the Holy Spirit?
• The text says that refusing to forgive is like holding yourself “hostage” to bitterness and anger. How have you seen this play out in your own life or in the lives of people you know?
• The idea is presented that “Forgiveness for those who have wronged us is 99% for you, and 1% for them”. Do you agree or disagree with this statement, and why?

Application Questions

• Is there a name that comes to your mind of someone you need to forgive, as described in the text? What’s one step you can take toward forgiving that person, whether or not they’ve asked for it?
• The passage says we are to be patient and forgive, “all the while praying that Christ will change their heart”. How can prayer be a tool to help you forgive?

Pattern

Scripture References

Colossians 3:13, Luke 23:34.

Brief Summary

The fourth key is the pattern of Christ. The text says, “even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do”. It emphasizes that we must forgive even if a resolution has not been reached. Christ’s example on the cross, where he prayed, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do,” is the ultimate pattern. The sermon distinguishes between two types of forgiveness: unilateral and transactional. Unilateral forgiveness is what Christ did for us on the cross—forgiving us before we even asked for it. It brings peace to the one forgiving. Transactional forgiveness is sought after, involving confession, repentance, and a request for forgiveness from the other person. This type of forgiveness restores relationships. Both are important; unilateral forgiveness is necessary, but transactional forgiveness is priceless because it brings reconciliation and restores relationship with God and others.

Discussion Questions

• What are the differences between unilateral and transactional forgiveness, as described in the text?
• The idea is presented that “You were forgiven 2,000 years ago for the sins that you will commit tomorrow!”. How does this idea of unilateral forgiveness affect your relationship with God?
• Why is it important to seek transactional forgiveness from God through confession, even if you believe you have already been unilaterally forgiven?

Application Questions

• Think about a relationship where a rift has been created due to sin. How can understanding both unilateral and transactional forgiveness help you mend that relationship?
• The text encourages us to model the pattern of Christ’s forgiveness in our own lives. Who is one person you need to show unilateral forgiveness to this week?

Perfection

Scripture References

Colossians 3:14, Acts 7:57-60.

Brief Summary

The final key is perfection, which is tied together by love. Colossians 3:14 says love is “the bond of perfection”. It is stated that without love, forgiveness is impossible, as love drove Christ to the cross to bear the sins of the world. The example of Ronald Reagan, who said his physical healing depended on his ability to forgive his attacker, is given. It also shares the story of Stephen, who, as he was being stoned, prayed, “Lord, do not charge them with this sin”. The sermon notes that Stephen’s prayer for forgiveness was answered in Saul (later Paul), who was a witness to the stoning and later became a powerful evangelist after being forgiven by Christ. The sermon concludes by encouraging people to seek the transactional forgiveness that only Christ can offer.

Discussion Questions

• The passage states, “without love, forgiveness is impossible”. What does this statement mean in a practical sense?
• The sermon provides examples of forgiveness from Ronald Reagan and Stephen. How do these examples of forgiveness in the face of extreme hurt and death demonstrate the power of love?
• The sermon describes Stephen’s prayer for his killers being answered in Paul. What does this story teach you about the long-term impact of forgiveness?

Application Questions

• How can you “put on love” as the “bond of perfection” in your own life to make forgiveness a reality?
• The idea is presented that “there are people here who don’t know Christ personally”. If you do not have a personal relationship with Christ, how does the idea of transactional forgiveness from God impact you?
• How can you live in a way that models Christ-like forgiveness to others, similar to Stephen and Reagan?

Day 1: Our Position in Christ

• Title: Forgiven to Forgive
• Scripture Reference: Colossians 3:12; Ephesians 1:7
• Key Focus: Forgiveness begins with our identity in Christ as God’s “chosen people, holy and dearly loved.” Because we have received the ultimate forgiveness from God, we are empowered to forgive others.
• Reflection: The act of forgiveness is not an optional act for a believer, but a natural outflow of our new identity. We are called to “put on” compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience because we are God’s children. C.S. Lewis said, “To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.” Our position in Christ changes our perspective on those who have wronged us, allowing us to see them through the lens of grace, just as God sees us.
• Application Question: In what area of your life do you need to be reminded of your identity in Christ to empower you to forgive someone?
• Prayer Prompt: Pray and thank God for the forgiveness you have received through Christ, and ask for His help to extend that same forgiveness to others.

Day 2: Our Posture of the Heart

• Title: Dressing for Forgiveness
• Scripture Reference: Colossians 3:12
• Key Focus: Forgiveness requires a heart posture characterized by tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, and longsuffering. These are not merely actions but attitudes we are to “put on” daily.
• Reflection: Just as a uniform identifies a soldier or a first responder, these spiritual graces are our uniform, signaling our identity in Christ. Putting them on is not a one-time event, but a daily practice. As we consistently choose to exhibit these qualities, we become fluent in the “language of forgiveness.” This posture involves selflessness and a genuine transformed heart, allowing us to respond with grace even when we are hurt.
• Application Question: Which of the five qualities—tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, or longsuffering—is the most challenging for you to “put on” today?
• Prayer Prompt: Ask God to give you a heart of tender mercy, kindness, humility, meekness, and longsuffering, so you can reflect His character in your interactions with others.

Day 3: The Power of Patience

• Title: Forgiving for Your Freedom
• Scripture Reference: Colossians 3:13
• Key Focus: Patience, which means “to bear with one another,” is a vital component of forgiveness. Refusing to forgive holds you “hostage” to bitterness, but forgiveness offers freedom to you.
• Reflection: Forgiveness is not about condoning the offense but about releasing your right to hold onto bitterness and resentment. The act of forgiving is primarily for your own healing and freedom. Bearing with others acknowledges their humanity and that they will inevitably fail. When we choose to forgive, we are commanded to do so, even if the other person has not asked for it. This is a powerful act of faith, trusting that God can and will work in their heart.
• Application Question: Who is someone you need to forgive for your own freedom and peace of mind?
• Prayer Prompt: Pray for the strength to forgive someone who has wronged you. Ask God to heal your heart and release you from any bitterness or anger you are holding onto.

Day 4: The Pattern of Christ

• Title: The Ultimate Example
• Scripture Reference: Colossians 3:13; Luke 23:34
• Key Focus: We are commanded to forgive others “even as Christ forgave you.” Christ’s example on the cross is the ultimate pattern for our own forgiveness, demonstrating both unilateral and transactional forgiveness.
• Reflection: Christ’s prayer on the cross, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do,” is a powerful example of unilateral forgiveness. This type of forgiveness brings peace to the one who forgives, regardless of whether the other person seeks it. On the other hand, transactional forgiveness involves repentance and a request for forgiveness, leading to reconciliation. Both are important; unilateral forgiveness is a command, and transactional forgiveness is a priceless gift that restores relationships.
• Application Question: Who is one person you need to show unilateral forgiveness to this week, following the pattern of Christ?
• Prayer Prompt: Pray that God will help you follow the pattern of Christ’s forgiveness in your own life. Ask for the grace to forgive those who have hurt you, even if they have not asked for it.

Day 5: The Perfection of Love

• Title: The Bond of Perfection
• Scripture Reference: Colossians 3:14; Acts 7:57-60
• Key Focus: Love is the “bond of perfection” that ties all of our forgiveness together. Without love, forgiveness is impossible because love is what drove Christ to the cross to bear the sins of the world.
• Reflection: The story of Stephen, who prayed for his stoners to be forgiven, demonstrates the power of love in the face of immense pain. It is noted that Stephen’s prayer was answered in Saul (later Paul), who was a witness to the stoning and later became a powerful evangelist after being forgiven by Christ. Love is not a feeling, but a choice that makes forgiveness a reality. It is love that enables us to release our hurts and extend grace to others, knowing we have been given the greatest grace of all.
• Application Question: How can you “put on love” as the “bond of perfection” in your life to make forgiveness a reality, especially in a difficult situation?
• Prayer Prompt: Pray for God to fill you with His love, so that you can forgive others completely and perfectly, just as He has forgiven you.